What is more classy at your child’s elementary school Halloween parade?

The parent in the ‘Smart Ass University’ novelty T shirt

The mom whose thong was so high when she sat down that it was looping OVER the tramp stamp.

Seriously, it’s a toss up!

Don’t remember how it happened, but for some reason I was trying to scare the kids with youtube videos of evil computers.

Right, I know…how can I NOT remember the odd confluence of circumstances that would lead to that endeavor?  But sadly, I cannot (turned 43 recently you know, old age is creeping in).

However, I of course landed on HAL.  How can you not talk about evil computers (right before bedtime in October …. ‘Duh Dad Trick # 32’) without mentioning HAL.

The kids…completely disinterested in my weird, and disturbingly specific search for evil computers, walked away.

Then a light bulb went off for Brody.

Wall-E.  The computer that took over the space ship, shaped like a ships steering wheel, also had a single red lens!

He picked up the reference.  He was proud I think, and little disappointed that something written for his generation was original.  Thankfully he has NO idea just how referential most kids cartoons are.

(However, I can empathize, I remember playing a Phil Collins song for my Dad one time because I thought it was soo cool (don’t laugh, we all thought he was cool at some point in our lives) and I was disappointed when he disparaged it noting it too was a 60’s remake).

Happy Birthday D!

Long story short…a vendor at work asked to use me in a sales flyer/white paper.  I agreed and helped write the copy.  It was sent to our marketing department for final review and approval.

While I was speaking to them, they stated I need to pose for a head shot.

Why?

Well the article is about you, not the company…so you can’t really send a pic of the building…it should be you.

I protested … and lost.

So Friday, I get up and dress much nicer than normal (meaning I pulled up my tie and wore a jacket).  It apparently is such a departure the kids noticed.  When I told them I was to be in an ad, they were so stoked that their Dad is MODEL!

So I went to work, hadn’t told my boss yet.  He noted the ensemble’ and I responded…oh no reason for the look.  BTW, I have a two hour meeting with someone this afternoon.  His reaction, though very brief as I didn’t carry the charade long as I was late, was one of surprise.  (For those of you in a non-dilbertonian environment . . . when someone dresses nicer than normal and has a long lunch or leaves early, it indicates a job interview).

So here it is…The Star Search 2009 Spokesmodel competition winnah!

Have a great popup book on the Titanic.  Kids are really enjoying it and now want to see a movie about the Titanic.  Brody has seen our copy of the Movie about and asked if he could watch it.

Dayna and I glanced at each other and quickly agreed that two scenes were not pertinent to their familiarization with this historical incident.  Though I may seek out a copy of the 1958 ‘A Night to Remember’ or a documentary at the library (I’m fairly certain neither of those involve breasts or the steamy windows of a Model T).

So Brody is in choir.  He’s been to two rehearsals and still likes it (Thank the deity of your choosing that he doesn’t go Carmel High (school in ‘Glee), they’re tough on singing kids).

We received some info on their upcoming performances.  Brody told me about them in the car.  One is at a school function of course.

The other…

‘Dad!  We get to sing at the old folks home!   When we’re done, we get to hang out and talk to all the old people!  Isn’t that cool?’

You gotta love little kids; who else gets excited about rollin’ with the Seniors at the local Senior apartments?

Brody had the MEAP last week and again this week.  The teachers reminded the kids to have a good breakfast to start the day.

Normally, that may sound like a simplistic and unnecessary suggestion, however, after having seen the Kay-Wrap that parents gave their kids at the start of day care and/or latch key (for example, two pop tarts whose calorie count of 500 is equal to 40% of the recommended caloric intake of a toddler or the 1,000 calorie McDonald’s breakfast) I don’t blame the school.

So Brody sought to ensure that he had a good breakfast.  Normally, they do, a healthy cereal, fat free milk (I’ll go organic when I get a second job…the stuff is great, but 6 bucks a gallon…phew!) and a serving or two of fruit.  He felt that the addition of pancakes and breakfast meat would also be of assistance.  So long as the fruit is there and there are no chocolate chunks in mix, can’t hurt.

Well, I was able to oblige for both testing days last week.  Tomorrow is yet another testing day, and I was reminded of his ‘brain food’ requirements.  Too bad, so sad on the meat, we ain’t got none and I ain’t goin’ to git any at night.  However, as he also has choir tomorrow, necessitating an early departure to school, I thought I would make the pancakes tonight.

Can I just say that I’m getting better, nearing ‘good’ at making pancakes?  My current goal is the formation of letters or simple recognizable shapes.

Why, I think I may have just found a new artistic medium for my self expression!

I took Brod and one of his buddies to a 4^th grade outing at the local cider mill.  We had a bon fire, corn maze, donuts, cider and of course…a hay ride.

The hay ride was fun…there were three tractors pulling three hay carts.  The drivers indicated that if one tractor passed another one, the bombardment with hay of the other cart was permitted.  As such, the drivers passed often.  The kids enjoyed that most of all.

When we loaded up, the boys moved to the front, by three girls they knew from their class.  The boys had been asking for donuts so I had run up to the mill to pick up a ½ dozen.  So once loaded, I gave Brody and his buddy each one (and of course the 18% Dad tax allowed me to have one).  That left three donuts.  The boys asked if they could have them. 

It was that or I threw them away, it was a treat, so why not?  I tossed the bag over…

The three girls noted the warm, cinnamon donuts and asked if they could have them.  They chatted up the boys and asked quite nicely a couple times while the boys considered their options.

The boys looked at each other and then said ‘Sure’.  The girls gladly took their donuts…said ‘Thanks’, and then left to another part of the cart!

So…due to my lack of time to get to a dealer, the radio in my car doesn’t work.  Honestly, I miss my NPR and the occasional song on the radio, but I’m finding that I enjoy the silence to and from any destination.

On a rare occasion, when mood or events necessitate some music for the soul (though mind you, that doesn’t mean gospel or Yanni-crap…it’s still blues, rock, metal or pop), I will listen to the iPod.

So the other day I was coming home and it started off with a slow song….light, airy.  It then went into a rowdy blues number.  It was a little loud, so I went to turn the volume down.

I kept turning and turning, but it wouldn’t go down.  I was starting to get upset…

Then I realized I was turning the knob on the radio…not the iPod!

I’m not a ‘joiner’. 

I hate groups, I hate being in groups, I don’t care for dealing with people in organized situations or in groups of more than me in any situation.

At a recent team building event we had to learn about someone new and then describe them as a drink.  Mine was quite good.  The poor person stuck with me kept trying to learn something to develop a response:

What do you really like to do:  Ride my motorcycle alone in the middle of nowhere.

What do you do for fun at home: Read a book alone.

Are you a member of (random groups here:  People suck (okay, didn’t say that directly, but it was implied)

And so on.

As such, I am very pleased that this has passed Brody.  He wanted to join gymnastics, he wants to continue tennis, he is signed up for bball AND he joined the voluntary choir at his school!?

I have no idea what motivated that.  If he were older, I’d assume it was because of a girl, but I’m fairly certain that is not the case.  Regardless, I’m proud of him for being so involved.

With my bad eyesight, when I squint to see the digital clock in the morning, it makes a really cool font!

I’m nervous…Mo has been cleaning her room, voluntarily, behind closed doors, at 7:30 a.m. for nearly 20 minutes. 

I better read the papers for any missing persons!

At the end of our street, there are several families who like to imbibe excessively into the early morning hours; they use loud speakers, bowl on the street, play loud music and are somewhat inconsiderate of others.  

Truthfully, we atr generally a sufficient distance that such revelry (tom-foolery, ass-holery…whatever word you prefer) is not a bother to us.  However, we do talk about it around the house (certainly with tone of distaste).

The other evening, the kids wished to take a note to a neighbor; said neighbor resides on the other side of the ass-holerians (let’s see how many more words I can get out of that creation!).

When they returned, Maura was acting distraught (for acting distraught, is thought, to bring one attention, or so kids are taught, but watching daytime tv or lifetime movies that their mothers have bought).    Okay, must have read a Dr. Suess book here recently….

Anyway, Maura indicated she was scared because it was dark and that is when ‘the people start drunking.’