We live in a very homogenous area of Michigan (polite way of sayings it’s really WHITE!).

So I’ve always been nervous that someday we’d see someone who was black, Indian, or some other hue than we and they kids would say something rude.  Thankfully, that really never happened (save for the one time at the store this past holiday, but that was gender confusion).

Till last night!

Maura pointed and asked why ‘that lady was brown (or darker…Dayna was there, don't know the actually verbiage)’.  Like most kids, you say ‘shhh’ and that only encourages them to speak louder and point harder (it’s as if their fingers actually grow). 

I know Dayna handled it with grace and class (and was no doubt embarrassed). 

See I had nothing to fear, it didn’t happen when I was there! J

However, on a good note.  Brody asked for a Mace Windew (sp?) Jedi for his Galactic Heroes.  I asked which one was Mace.  He said the Jedi who looked like Martin Luther King Jr. but bald. J

I don’t really know if that’s good or bad, or what it says, but I’m pleased that he knows about MLK!

Brody started doing math and having daily ‘speed’ quizzes.  He started off slow, not meeting the ‘goal’ ppm (problems per minute – my own made-up measure); which frustrated him greatly…he takes after his Mom. J  However, ever since Monday, he’s taken off; meeting and/or exceeding his goal every day.

Today we got a little taste of math in action.  While it’s not an Einstein-indicator, it was still cool:  Got new phones yesterday and they were on the kitchen table.  Brody noticed them (they are sleeker than our current ones) and said they were iPhones…cute.  While eating breakfast he asked how much they cost.  I said I had to pay the company forty dollars. 

Without missing a second he says ‘So they were twenty dollars each?’

KEWL!

While I’m not religious, spiritual or otherwise inclined, I did pick up one life-guiding principle from a Zen Quote a Day calendar.

‘Desire is the source of all unhappiness.’

Makes sense…if I really want a new motorcycle, I’m sad because I don’t have it.  But If I choose to be content with the TWO in my garage, then I am happy!  Keeps me content with 14 year old station wagons, ebay clothing, and a (by today’s standard) a modest house.

Marketers alas do a good job of playing on that.  They convince you that you HAVE to have a product and that once you have it, your life will be contented…you’ll be handsome, hot moms everywhere will follow you with their strollers, you’ll have Hugh Grants hair (circa 1995) and persons of power will seek your counsel.

Obviously that’s not the case.  The second you get something you need something else! (Want a big house…then you’ll need a bigger mower, a sprinkler system, more money for heating and cooling which means more work and less time in the house, and so on).

I mentioned at x-mas how we started to see this in our kids.  That they had to have so much, that they’d get much, be less than appreciative and just counting down the days till the next gift giving event and planning what to request then.

We toned down the holiday significantly, and appreciated others doing the same

We are also doing the same for birthdays.

Which brings me to the point (man, can I ramble!), kids birthdays today are like twenty-something women and their weddings.  They have to be bigger and better than the last one attended. 

So I was very pleased to read about the following effort on the part of a professor in Reader’s Digest (thanks great grandma!).

http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.org/

http://www1.umn.edu/urelate/newsservice/uofmnewswire/nw-20070118.html

I’ve mentioned many times before; Maura is a bit of an anti-social loner (that’s my girl!). When she comes home, she only complains about others, and dismisses any attempt on the part of her friends…to be friends. 

To be honest, I was starting to worry.

Thankfully, Dayna reported this week that she does, in fact, have friends who like her!  When Dayna picked her up from pre-school, two gals ran to hug her.  They arrived simultaneously and crowded Maura. 

Then recently at a play place she played with several other gals who were there.

Phew!  Means her b-day party won’t be a ghost town!

As you know, Spring sprang this week. 

I didn’t really pay the event much mind (contrary to popular belief, I’m not Wiccan and my world does not revolve around any solstice other than the bi-annual changing of the screen/storm doors).

Brody on the other hand listens in school and pays close attention.  So it was quite cute the other night as I was putting him to bed.  He gave me a hug, looked at his clock and said ‘Look Dad! Spring is in one minute!’

Now, I had no idea if he’s right or wrong, but it was neat. We sat there quietly waiting for the clock to change…when it did, he was pleased and relieved! (time to use the skateboard he wasn’t supposed to get from Dad!)

Brody is a bit of a savant when it comes to dates.  I don’t know what is happening thirty minutes from now, but ask him: he knows the date, the season, the day, what we are doing every day for the next six months, and if you give him a date at any time in the past 4,000 years, he can tell you what day of the week it was!

Yet, he can’t remember to put his knees down at the table, though we tell him multiple times per meal?!

Dayna loves Mommy blogs.  There is a whole community called BlogHers; which obviously are blogs written by and for women.  Dayna is partial to the genre known as ‘Mommy Blogs.’ 

There are several she reads quite regularly.

For kicks I asked her to send me some of her faves, put them in a list to your right if interested.  You might not ever use them, but at least it's a short cut for D when she's reading.  Luv ya'!

FIRST – READ THE FOLLOWING POST BEFORE THIS ONE…MAKES A LOT MORE SENSE.

Did you?  Did you really?  You better have!

Okay.  Let’s add to the book debate.  Ann Coulter has been invited to Clearly College in Howell to speak. 

Yes, no better way to dispel any rumors of your towns bigotry then to invite Ann Coulter. 

The local Cleary organization is headed by individuals who are also members of the Livingston Co. Republican Party; one of them is the spouse of the current Chair.  So obviously they were very unbiased in their selection for speakers...NOT! 

Ms. Coulter as you may be aware recently called John Edwards a faggot. 

I don’t really want to talk too much about her.  She’s PT Barnum (consummate showman) and G. Gordon Liddy (behaving badly in public) rolled into one.  She needed to sell some books or something so she said something outrageous.  Whoopdeedou!

However, (and again, this only makes sense if you read the following post first!) the local Book Burner had a letter published where she posed the query, ‘Why is it okay to read bad words in books, but not okay for Ann Coulter to say them?’

To which I responded and was published today.

http://www.livingstondaily.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070318/OPINION03/703180331/1014/OPINION

Thankfully that’s two letters with no mention of god or guns!  I should be safe.

We have a Howell mailing address but live in a nearby township.  If you live in Michigan, Howell is constantly being referred to as a racist city.  This is sadly based on the fact that a 20 or 30 years ago a KKK Grand Dragon lived NEAR (not ‘in’ or even ‘really close’) Howell.

Local newsreaders (that’s the pretty folks on tv who think they’re journalist but they really just read the teleprompter and includes everyone from Eric Smith all the way up to Katie Couric) and newspapers revel in the chance to bring up this tidbit.  It’s as if ‘where a KKK grand dragon once resided’, is the second half of the city's name.

I admit it is quite unfair.

That is of course until more vocal members of the Howell community get vocal.  Here’s the down-low, quick and dirty on one incident…

• Gay teen gets harassed at the high school…
• Kids rally to form diversity club to increase tolerance and understanding…
• OMG! There’s a rainbow on the flag, they’re trying to turn our kids gay!  Quick for a Traditional Values (or pretend it’s the patriarchal fifties or we’ll be the shit outta you) club…
• Then have lots of stupid actions and lawsuits over the placement of each clubs flag.

That flap went on far too long.  Eventually the furor died down, but the leader of the LOVE (Livingston ‘something’ Values in Education or ‘Turn my public school into a christian school and behave like old middle-class white men want us to’…not like they actually do…Right Mr. Gringrich?  wink wink nudge nudge) grew too accustomed to the spotlight.  Empowered by the election of a local republican party pawn to the Howell School Board she sought out new ways to protect our kids from the 21^st century.

Books. 

She sought to remove certain books from the AP English classes.  Now, these aren’t ‘Maisy’s First Bus Ride’ or ‘Harold and the Purple Crayon’, they do touch on serious issues and have harsh language and imagery. She even sought to get the opinion of the county prosecutor, the state attorney general and the FBI, theorizing that when a teacher hands these books to a student, it’s distributing pornography and those teachers should be in trouble!

Thankfully, the overwhelming response from the community has been against her and the assorted government agencies have been polite…but dismissive.

I haven’t written to the paper since last summer.  Last summer I had two letters published.  One was finding humor in a person’s comments that they felt safer now that they had a CCW.  I found it humorous because we live in LIVINGSTON COUNTY not Oakland California.  If a bike gets stolen its page three news here!  (NOTE: I didn’t attack gun ownership, the second amendment, or the dude from Planet of the Apes.  Wanna own ‘em, great, I don’t mind…I just found the comment funny when juxtaposed against local crime statistics).  Secondly, I took issue with a local ministers attack on the book, 'The Da Vinci Code. '

Obviously my ‘ironic’ ccw letter was taken as an assault on gun ownership (which it clearly wasn’t!) and my other letter was taken as an assault on the bible (which it wasn’t!)  Many responses were published and my name maligned many times.  Final tally – Don’t attack my bible: 1 – Don’t attack my guns: 6.  Interesting priorities.  (FYI: the bible response was from my eye doctor and he was obviously one annoyed Knight of Columbus….haven’t been back – he ain’t puttin’ nuthin’ in my eyes!)

I have to admit seeing so many passionate people (with guns) knowing my city and referencing me by name, made me nervous.  I actually called the paper and asked them to either run no more responses to my letter (point made…Livingston County likes guns, WHICH I DIDN’T ATTACK YOU INSECURE LITTLE PRICKS!) or to slightly alter responses to say ‘In response to the letter of date’ versus ‘Rob Britton of Hartland Michigan in the 17^th house on the left on Elm Street with the two dead bushes out front is stoopid!’

However, as a great lover of books I really wanted to write about this new endeavor within Howell.  I did and it was published last Monday.  I think it’s quite good and to date, no one has responded with threats!

http://www.livingstondaily.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070312/OPINION03/703120308/1014/

Big thanks to Dad for this past Saturday!

Dayna and I went to see Chicago the Musical in Toledo.  Dad watched the kids the entire day as it was a matinee and then off to dinner.

First, yay for the Stranahan Theater in Toledo…no charge for parking!  Wish the greedy rat-bastards at the Palace would consider this!  Fifteen bucks to park my car!?

Anyway, the show was great!  We both enjoyed it tremendously.  At intermission and at the end Tom Wopat came out to sign autographs.  He was playing Billy Flynn (or Richard Gere’s part).  He did a great job.

Dayna and I got a program and his signature.  He even told Dayna she looked ‘Lovely’.

Yes sir…Luke Duke was hitting on my wife!  Well, just let me tell you, if I hadn’t been wearing a constricting sport coat, I’da kicked his @$$! 

Seriously though, Dayna did look great.  New dress (2 FULL SIZES SMALLER THAN A FEW MONTHS AGO….and since gals clothes go in ‘twos’, I’m going to say four sizes so it sounds even better!).  It was nice to dress up and go out.

On the way home we went to Cottage Inn in Ann Arbor. 

So ME….White Shirt….Sport Coat….Cramped Restaurant…Pasta….yep, dry cleaning will be required!

A follow up to the Nike post:

As mentioned Brody was to get a pair of Nike’s for learning to tie his shoes.  Well we went out to the Nike store and he didn’t really like his choices.  He kept looking for more and dismissed the ones there. 

Finally he said he’d just take whatever fit.

Well, that was the kind of excited reaction I was expecting…or paying for.  I let him know that he had forever to get the shoes; he didn’t HAVE to have them today.  That with a little shopping elsewhere or on-line, we could find anything he liked.  Also, I kept pushing on what he didn’t like.  He finally admitted that he wanted a show with a BIG swoosh; these all had wee swoosh-ettes!

We tried Kohls, different shoes, same problem.

However, while there, Brody noticed Tony Hawk (cool skateboarder for any hermits) shoes and he got excited about those.  All black with skulls and crossbones!

I really wish they came in my size!

This past Sunday we had a great time at the Barnes and Noble bookstore.  The new one Brighton has kid’s story time on Sunday.  This is especially nice as most stores and libraries tend to cater to the stay-at-home-get-me-out-of-the-house-before-I-drink-another-bottle-of-wine-I-have-a-masters-degree-dammit-Mom set by doing such events on weekdays at 10:30 a.m.  (Heads up future parents, same for dance classes).

This past Sunday was St. Patrick’s Days.  It was the first time I realized how big Brody is getting.  Everyone else there was Maura’s age, and Brody looked out of place on the tiny benches.  Notwithstanding, he was well behaved and didn’t try to ‘take over’ or answer all the questions. 

At the end they did a craft – color a shamrock, cut it out and glue it to a piece of construction paper.  Brody did a nice job.  He even asked what the Irish flag looked like; he then cut a small strip, colored it brown and then a rectangle orange, white and green.  Giving his shamrock an Irish flag. 

The most interesting part of this was the cutting.  Maura has some super human fine motor skills.  She grabbed the scissors, cut along the line and had the shamrock perfectly framed.

Brody, possessing no such motor skills, is triply (new word) cursed with conflicting aspects of his parents.  First, he has his Mother’s desire to do well at everything, on the first attempt.  Which leads to frustration when you can’t meet your own self-imposed high expectation (just try and play a racquet sport with Dayna….you’ll see it too).  From Dad he got impatience for doing anything requiring detailed or delicate work.  Smack it with a hammer fifteen times, no problem…small corners, low tolerance, lots of turns….fuhgetaboutit!  Which is usually quite nice because if one doesn’t want to do something, you just don’t do it.

But for Brod he’s impatient, wants to be perfect, but doesn’t have the patience to develop the fine motor skills to be perfect.  Quite a conundrum, don’t you think?

As we walked around afterwards, Brody was excited to see a book about a Siamese cat who thinks they are a dog.  He read it to me and then we learned that it was this weeks book at the store!  Brody is so excited!

Sometime last year Brody learned about Nike tennis shoes.  I don’t know the details, but basically he knew they were cool and that he wanted a pair.  Personally I was a little annoyed as we had just bought him 50 bucks worth of Skechers (that’s more than I spend on shoes for me!). 

I kept telling him next year.

Well, it’s next year…so you can imagine.

Now, the first of the two 50$ skechers was finally wore out and it was time to pull out the other pair.  Brody was reluctant as these second pair were ‘tie’ shoes.  See, the other pair had the Velcro straps.  Tying was a challenge he didn’t seem eager to attack.

Well I’m not above a little ‘birbery’ to get people motivated.  ‘Brody.  You learn to tie your shoes, we’ll buy you that pair of Nikes!’

Figured it would motivate him and I’d have several months.  Nope!  Started on Monday and today, for the first time, BRODY TIED HIS SHOES! 

Tonight I get to tie back two previous postings.

First I followed up on the origin of the KISS bookmark.  Seems they had seventh graders come in and read to them.  They also brought home made bookmarks for the kids and apparently members of the KISS Army can find each other, even in an elementary school.  Brody was pretty excited.

Second, the ‘to do’ list; after relaying this story to me, he grabbed his little pad and a pen.  He wrote for a moment and then handed it to me.  It read: ‘Busy KISS cd’.  As it turns out I do not own one and Brody would seek to correct that deficiency.

Tonight at dinner, Maura was a chatterbox.  She could not stop talking; it was as if she were connected by jumper cables to a race car and someone was gunning the engine!

In a brief time we noted that she could start a sentence without the following preface: ‘Guys. You know what?’

After a while it got us giggling and we tried to get her to stop saying it.  She tried to stop saying it.  But the more she tried, the more she HAD to say it prior to remainder of her thought.

Made for a fun or frustrating dinner depending on your perspective.

Brody came home with the bookmark pictured below (front and back, two scans).  Now, I like it.  I think it’s cool.

However, I really don’t suspect that you’re average parent, says ‘Aw look…princess got her first heavy metal bookmark.  Get the camera and the scrapbook!’ 

Notwithstanding, it will end up in our scrapbook!

Brody had his first REAL test. 

A note was sent home stating that some kids were being tested, not only for reading ability, but for reading comprehension: are they paying attention to, and understanding what they read.

They are given a quiz on a computer after reading a book.  They read the book to themselves, they have to read the questions by themselves, they have to read the answer options to themselves and then they have to respond.

To date, Brody has had three and he’s battin’ 1000!

Dad helps us out tremendously by picking up and watching the kids each week.  Often he takes them out to eat, but he also, on occasion, brings some groceries in to fix. Last night it was hot dogs.

I guess Dad asked ‘how many he wanted.’  Generally we only give Brod one, so this to him was a question that required thoughtful consideration and objectivity.

So he did what any of us would have done should we have found ourselves in a similar culinary conundrum! 

He measured the hot dogs.

Yep.  Pulled out the ruler and measured the hot dogs.  After learning that each was six inches, he determined that he wanted two. 

Another cute little kid thing:  When I came in Brody met me at the door, we spoke, then he mumbled about a list and took off. 

Throughout the night he would do this. 

Finally he showed me his ‘things to do’ list.  He created it himself and then would check off tasks as they were completed.  The list is attached (click to enlarge).

While it did include TV (which he did watch a little of), I’m pleased to see that most had to do with talking to myself or my Dad:

• Hi to Dad
• Talk to Dad
• Bye to Papa
• Play chess with Dad
• TV

Allow me to put this in context before you think me an awful parent:  Brody loves rock and roll.  I have an Ozzy Osbourne CD of him doing popular cover tunes (Beatles, Allman Bros., 60’s, 70’s rock), an entire album with only one curse word and we skip that song.  Brody LOVES that Ozzy CD.  It is the only Ozzy CD Brody has heard.  So I’m not a bad Dad, I’m simply introducing him to classic rock and the cover album concept.  It just happens to have been performed by the befuddled geriatric tool of satan.

That said, two funny comments:

Brody and I were flipping through MTV and VH1; Brod noted that there were NO Ozzy videos; only ‘young people’.  He said he wanted to see an Ozzy video.  I mentioned I didn’t think they were showing any and he said ‘It’s because he’s old right?  They don’t like old people because they can’t dance fast right?’

Yes sir, got me an ACLU lawyer right there!  Age Discrimination in Employment Act Baby!  Ozzy is over 40 (and that’s over 40, not 40 and over…big difference) and as such has standing.  Actually, it’s a keen insight and most likely accurate (though I suspect it’s ‘cause he doesn’t look pouty, greasy hot like most younger male singers).

Brody really enjoys the Magic Tree House chapter books, written by Mary Pope Osbourne.  Brody is convinced that she is related to the Ozz-man.

‘Ain’t that jist cute?’

What a weekend!

Friday started off in Hell.  The PTA showed a movie at the old high school and we took both kids.  Yes sir, ain’t nuthin’ like an auditorium of 200 lower elementary students hyped up having seen their friends outside of school.  All-in-all it was enjoyable and the kids had a blast.

On Saturday, I took the kids on a minor errand to the post office (allowing them each to put stamps on the bills and then individually put them in the box killed time and they had fun) and then we went to the library.

The library was always tough with Brody.  As a young boy he was addicted to Thomas the Tank Engine, and the library has a train table and a giant wood train in which you could walk.  Brody was always excited to go to the library, but it had little to do with books. Thanks to how well he’s learned to read, that has changed. Maura, having avoided the ‘train’ gene, was not problematic.

We arrived, each returned their books, and off we went.  Maura and I selected a few books for her rather quickly.  I was partial to an Eric Carle book I’ve never before seen about a Dad getting the moon for his daughter.  Once we were done, she sat at a table, let me read to her, then as I helped Brod, she sat and looked at them on her own.

Brod, has become quite good at asking for assistance.  He had his heart set on some Captain Underpants books.  Rather than bothering with the dewey decimal system, he said, ‘the librarian will know where they are at, let’s just ask her!’

And he was right.  While I picked out and read books to Mo, he kindly approached the librarian and asked for direction.  She got him what he requested and then he asked for books on Presidents (due to presidents day, he has an interest).

So by the time I was done with Mo, Brod was all set; sitting at the table reading.

Lunch, then Dance class for Mo’.

Now here is where it gets interesting, heartwarming and frightening.

That evening we had Brody’s friend, Nick G. over to play and for dinner.  He’s a real nice kid, treats Mo real nice, and looks EXACTLY like Brod.  Mean it…EXACTLY.

When Mo’ woke up from her nap, she noted Nick G’s presence.  She then slowly walked over and stood in front of Brod’s room for several minutes.  She then came back sad.

We asked why she was sad, and she said because ‘Nick didn’t notice her.’

She was totally trying to flirt! 

She was like that the rest of the evening.  Trying to play with Nick, trying to get his attention (do you like my princess book Nick?), and laughing at anything he said!

I have a feeling Mo’ is going to like having a big brother bringing older boys around the house….

Last night as Brody and I sat down to play chess, I attempted to review the pieces and the moves with him.  As we started to set up the game I began asking ‘…and what is that piece called and how can it move?’

Brody in true, ‘My parents drive me nuts’ form replied: ‘Dad! (which seemed to have more ‘a’s than normal) I know all the pieces…’ then he rattled them all off, quickly, efficiently, and correctly including how they move and/or attack.

He continues to enjoy the game and is doing great. 

Additionally Maura has started to show an interest.  Why not, maybe she can learn even sooner.