When we don’t buy the kids fast food; when I refuse to buy desert food for the house; or when we don’t let the kids skip their fruit and veggies, we remind them that we want them to be healthy and fit. 

‘Fit’ being our word for ‘not overweight like xxx.’

Brody, forever the shrewd negotiator, saw an opportunity to capitalize:  When he now asks for candy and is denied, his retort is …

But I’m going to be UNDERweight and that isn’t healthy either!

I love to listen to music and I know all the phonetic sounds of all the songs on hundreds of albums.

The ‘lyrics’…not so much.  Tom Petty I can understand…it’s a gift…anyone else…NOPE.

To make matters worse, when I listen to music, I love to sing.  Since I only know the general sounds of the lyrics, were one to turn off the radio I would sound like a deaf person yelling at someone in anger. 

Think, Marlee Matlin gets cut off in traffic.

I may have an auditory sensory problem, I may prefer the ‘orchestration’ (If one could call two guitars and a drum kit the ‘orchestra’ thus making the overly bearded fellows the ‘chorale’) to the vocals or I just may be lazy.

I’m going to go with an amalgam (just because I rarely get to use that word in normal conversation) of 1 and 3.

For instance, as a teen, I was pretty sure that when Till Tuesday told us to Hush, Hush…that even downtown…. They finished the thought with ‘It’s So Scary’ (versus, ‘voices carry’) and apparently, when one actually listens to the lyrics…Prince songs are rather naughty?  Hm…I thought ‘Thieves in the Temple’ had something to do with a Dan Brown novel.

And sadly, this appears to be genetic.

Whilst (another word I rarely use in daily conversation) shopping recently, Maura asked if she could have some ChapStick™.  She handed me the package…I looked at the price vs. the flavor and asked why she wanted ChapStick™.

She indicated that she had ‘…kissed a squirrel and she liked it.  The taste of the cherry ChapStick™’

Thanks to my wife for letting me hit the road.  It was just a fantastic day to go for a short motorcycle ride. 

 

P.S. To the gomer in the red pick up truck in Howell, USE YOUR FRIGGIN’ MIRRORS!

I think this would go nicely with our toilet with turn signals.

This past Sunday I asked who wanted to go shopping with me.  No one volunteered…until they were informed that the one left behind got to help D clean the house and the bathrooms.  Suddenly, Meijer was very popular…Brody pulled the long straw on that one.

When reviewing the coupons and circulars I noted a sale on 12 packs at both Walgreens and CVS.  In case you’ve never met me, I’m on a strict regimen of diet coke consumption:  House is to Vicadin, what Rob is to Diet Coke, if this were a SAT question.

However, I tend to avoid 12 packs, a lot of deposit money and a LOT of wasted packaging versus a two liter.  So Brody and I sat down in the lot and figured out the total cost per ounce and determined that the sale was not a sale compared to even a non-sale 2 liter.  So we pulled out of the lot and off to the grocery store.

While in the store I saw a display for sunscreen and decided to stock up.  The Hawaiian Tropic was on sale, two bucks off and Brody suggested that as he recognized the logo (?) and thought the container was pretty cool looking (it was).  I had him pick up the Meijer brand, which was still another four bucks cheaper than the sale price and compare ingredients – he was shocked that they were exactly the same.  So off we went with the sunscreen in the unattractive container.

So, later in the trip I stopped in the bakery isle.  Mo wanted to take M & M brownies to her class for her birthday.  So Brody and I looked at the options, compared prices, factored in my one coupon and I reached for a particular one.  Brody suggested another brand.  I indicated that mine was cheaper …

But Grasshopper pointed out that while his was a couple dimes more, that it came with candy confetti and as such, we would save money by not having to buy a big bag of M & M’s.

Well he was right and Mo loved them as well!

How in the world did I land a hottie like this?

Every Father’s or Birthday I’m asked what I might like.  Truly, I’m a very contented individual…there is nothing I need and little I want.  But what I do look forward to, is what they kids have made.

As you may be aware (at least I hope you were), Mother’s Day was recently.  Mo made her a great card and poster; Brody a fantastic memory book. (and Dad here came through pretty good with some nice Stilla products and a couple well chosen outfits).

 

Brody has been learning about the environment, and in general, what a crappy job we American’s do at saving it (or if you prefer the more positive tone, ‘what a wonderful job we do of consuming more resources per person than any other peoples on the plant’ – Yay! We’re number ONE!).

We do pretty good, I fill up the entire truck every time I go to the recycle center and we have the ‘good’ light bulbs.  We keep the heat down and the air off.  We purchase fewer books, magazines and newspapers (thank you Library!) and eat a lot more organic foods.

However, Brody always seems to have a suggestion for improvement.

Recently it was a compost pile for food waste.  We don’t have a lot of that and as I mulch the yard we have little yard waste…but we may look for a small one to do what we can.

This past weekend I was mowing the lawn.  Brody was coming home from a friends (he’s walking more to get exercise – and use that as an excuse for more DSi time – Not workin’!) and wanted to talk.  So I turned off the mower and we chit-chatted for a bit.   He was bored and wanted to play, I shared my desire to do the same but sadly the lawn was calling.  Brain blast and ol’ junior was mowing the lawn!

About time he earned his keep!

When it was all done, he commented on the smoke that puffed out when started and the noise.  He then set about to recommending a push reel mower – no gas, no pollution, no gas, less money, more exercise and quieter.  He further suggested grass shears instead of the weed wacker.

Isn’t he cute?

Though to be honest . . . thinkin’ about it.   

Ah spring, when one’s thoughts turn to ‘what the hell do I get the kids for their birthday?’

Yes, having romantically timed our children to maximize maternity leave with summer vacation, our children have had their birthdays…Mo just today.

Brody is actually quite easy to shop for: every couple years he has a new passion…Bear in the Big Blue House – Thomas the Tank Engine – Star Wars – Legos – Lego Star Wars – and now Pokemon for any Nintendo platform.  As such, when we gave him his Pokemon (‘not PokeMAN Dad!’) Ultimate themed birthday he was quite pleased.  The aforereferenced (new word!) Nintendo DSi as the birthday chaser.

Mo is a little harder.  She doesn’t really have ‘passions’ as Brod does.  She’s kinda in to Hannah Montana, but only because she thinks she’s supposed to and she thankfully eschews all other things Disney (be they ‘Miss California’ Princesses, the Jonas Bros or HSM 1, 2 and/or 3).  As such, with summer approaching, we went for an almost entirely outdoor theme (though we did cave to some gender roles and all items were pink in color).  She has the glove, the bat, three baseballs, a sports duffel to carry all the items, a lacrosse set and a soccer ball.  Girls gonna git some exercise this summer!  She also received a new iPod nano (the kids really enjoy music – and fortunately GOOD music – note previous parenthetical disparaging all products ‘Disney’) and a new set of playing cards.  Of all her gifts, the five dollar playing cards were her favorite…we’ve since broken them in playing ‘garbage’, her favorite card game.

Mother’s Day – a time to honor and thank our Mother’s for all the hard work they do, all the sacrifices they’ve made and to try and at least make that day a little easier for them.

So it was, last evening, that as Mo needed her hair dried, D asked if she wanted her hair flipped under or out.

Mo’s ‘Mother’s Day’ reply: ‘Which is harder (for you)?’  The tonal insinuation that she would pick whichever was most difficult.

Happy Mother’s Day D!