Holy crap – a over-the-range microwave, a dishwasher and an outdoor lamp!  One small step for most men, one giant leap for myself!

Brody is doomed.

No, he hasn’t done anything wrong, it is just his temperament is such, that he will always be scared or sorry.

There is an old scene in the Simpson’s where Bart touches something, hurts himself, says ‘Ow’ and then does it again, and again, and again…saying ‘Ow’ each time with the same surprise he did the first time.

To a certain extent this is Brody.  He is all reaction, all instinct and traditional pavlovian effects do not work on him.  He is completely unaware of his surroundings at any time, running around like Brendan Fraser in Encino Man.  However, he must have genetically picked up some sort of gene that predisposes one to guilt and self-flagellation (let’s call that one the Catholic gene).

So, he acts on impulse (which means he’ll do something stupid, rude or both every twenty-two minutes) and then he’ll feel like shit and berate himself for said event…only to repeat the process before the tears have dried from this infraction.

So it was that last night as we waited in line to pay for dinner, Brody was once again performing his usual experimental fidget routines as if he were in an open field when ‘Smack’, he hits the ass of the lady in front of us.

Now, she was a young lady, mid-twenties I guess, and dressed like she liked attention: tight pants, top, obviously spends a lot of time on her hair, boots: All in all I call her look and updated 80’s, I just got home from the Motley Crue concert and hooked up with a skanky dude with a perm. 

HOWEVER, she was pregnant…very pregnant.

So in that instant between Brody letting the world know that ‘he likes big butts’ and the owner of said butt turning around, I thought…she’s a future Mom, she gets it, she’ll look, know it was an accident by a child, and give a loving smile.

NOPE.

Brody hit, knew he screwed up and said sorry, as he was saying sorry, she was giving him an evil look and then picked up her take out.  Brody felt so guilty he hid behind me, practically in tears.  I was a little annoyed expecting a little more understanding from a Mom, or Mom-to-be,  but chose not to pursue the matter further. 

I did take the opportunity to remind Brod that he needs to stand still and be aware of his surroundings.  You are not the only person on this planet you know!

…

Then as we were leaving an old couple opens the door as they enter and he bolts out, weaving between them as if the door were opened by magical pylons daring him to weave through them.

Argh!