Today was one of those unfortunate days when one realizes why some species of animals eat their young.

Dayna hit the gym, the kids and I hit Mickey D’s play place (while I read the papers and clip coupons) then going grocery shopping…it’s a weekly Sabbath tradition (yet the kids always seemed surprised when I remind them we’re going shopping).

Things went well in the a.m., kids were a big help shopping; but the afternoon was just horrid.  The kids didn’t want to do anything but argue, whine, fight or ask for some elaborate assistance only to play with the item for two minutes.

Mo has three gals she spends a great deal of time with, and playground ADD is common when the four of them get together.  They want the slip n slide, they then look at it for 10 minutes, try it once, and then want to go inside and have an elaborate tea party; ‘bout the time the costumes are on, they want to get wet, but with a completely different (and stored) inflatable item.  Dayna and I are steadfast in these situations:  play with what you can reach; we’re not the Alfred Pennyworth-Roadie/Stage Crew for a bunch of toddlers.  Sadly, we’re sometimes undercut by other parents who seemingly let five year olds boss them around.  

So we would give suggestions, offer to play any number of indoor or outdoor activities with them only to be shot down and then informed of their boredom.  They would counter with something inappropriate and would cry when they got the answer they knew was coming.  Unfortunately Mo has an obstinate streak (not certain where that came from) and gives each battle her best, assuming victory but defiant in defeat.  Finally, Brody got his doodle book out (a very neat Art book D picked up for him) and later we had a very elaborate (and comical) light saber fight in the back yard. 

Mo just kept wasting time doing nothing…then finally decided that she would play with her friends…

Brody, at that moment thought it would be ‘nice’ (meaning, ‘cruel’) to inform her that her friends were next door with the new fifth wheel to their foursome.  The three gals have occasionally started hanging out next door with another little girl the same age.  I’ve alluded to them before, awesome, awesome people, but the kids have every expensive toy known to man, they get new, large toys nearly every weekend and the kids rarely play with any of them for more than ten minutes.  The Mom is a wonderful person and one that will spend the entire day setting up bouncy castles, taking it down, pulling out motorized cars, putting them back and so forth ALL DAY.  No wonder the kids like it there, it’s like visiting Richie Rich with his butler Cadbury on Neverland Ranch.

MO DOESN’T LIKE SHARING HER FRIENDS.

So upon notification that HER friends were with Vanessa Van Dough, Mo stormed out of the room.  She was mad and headed to her room.  Just as she entered the kitchen, she stopped…eyed an empty water bottle….walked over and punched it hard and then headed up to her room.

Mo did finally come around and had a nice time with her friends and a nice evening.

However, she can be one mean, moody, cuss.

As Dayna noted, she’s not even a teenager, she doesn’t have a period yet and doesn’t have the drama associated with either…someday, her husband is SKA-RooooD!

D is up north getting some much needed R&R, so I took the day off to spend time with the kids.  Having four days off in a row (including the weekend), a few errands were bound to occur.  It was oppressively hot and rainy, so we decided to clump all the errands in one day and be done with it.

One of the errands was some repair of Brody’s glasses and I was getting some new glasses.  We do this in Ann Arbor (actually Ypsi, but I sound cooler if I say A2).  Anywho, the kids both remembered that there was a Toys R Us nearby and asked if we could walk around.

They understood that no buying would occur (actually I did get two kickstands – whats up with that?  Bikes coming with no kickstands now!  That’s like buying a car that doesn’t come with ‘Park’…but I digress) and they suggested I write down ideas for Santa. 

So we go down every aisle and I make notes (or pretend to).   Brody was no surprise…if Lego or Star Wars was in the title, it had a good shot to make the list.  Both words…and it was a shoo in.  Mo’ was another story.  Let’s be honest, toys for girls BLOW and SUCK!  Three rows of household toys (like a washing machine or a dustpan is a toy!?) and then a bunch of either dolls or animals with advanced hydrocephalus who have also visited the Island of Dr. Moreau for ‘bush baby’ cross breeding.

  PLUS   EQUALS  OR

She didn’t really have much to add to the list, other than a super cool bigger girl bike now that she can ride a two wheeler or a pink Nintendo DS.

That didn’t really go anywhere and let me take on one last tangent  . . . I’ll then pull it all together ‘Quentin Terantino-style’  - though the payoff won’t be as violent, or as interesting (nor will it involve Travolta or Uma Thurman).

One of our other errands yesterday was a visit to the pediatric dentist.  The kids went back by themselves, did great and I had a few minutes to enjoy my book and wonder where sahm buy those ugly denim capri’s that don’t have pockets on the back.  When one leaves the dentist after successful check up, one always gets a little bag with dental care items and cheap little toys.  Mo got a little rubber lizard she now calls Julie.

Fast forward to today:  Mo and I had all afternoon to play…I suggested all the toys she has, expensive, inexpensive, even Brody’s DS.  But did she want to play with those?

Nope.

We spent the entire day creating a home for Julie Lizardy (of the North Hampton Lizardys). 

I grabbed a shoe box from the recycle pile and cut a hole for a door and another for a window.  Mo, on her own, cut out a door and used tape across the top and demonstrated how it was like a doggie door.  She worried about bad weather getting in, and again on her own, grabbed a sandwich bag, cut a square and had me tape it up over the window hole!  We also made a bed.  I used the paper that came with the shoes to make a pillow and then Mo insisted on a ‘character’ comforter.  So I made a fluffy comforter and decorated it in ‘Lizard Montana’.   She then cut little squares and we both drew pictures on them and glued them to the walls.  There is also a rug, a chair, glitter on the roof and all topped off with a jelly bean dinner. 

Constantly amazes me how much folks spend on toys for their kids (we have neighbors who spend extensively, yet their toys are little used) but the kids just need a puddle of water, a twenty-five cent lizard and a shoe box.

The Bella Carolli of ‘two-wheelers’ has had another success, her student scoring a near perfect 16.7513 and 1/3, just beating out the alleged nine-year-old Chinese bicycler.

The other night, Dayna already having been to the gym but feeling guilty about some earlier dining decision, wanted to return to the track.  I wanted to give my new bike (a father’s day gift) and good workout and of course wanted the kids to have some fun on their bikes as well. 

Dayna ‘trunked’ their bikes over to the ‘old high school’ and I rode over.

Of course I beat them.

Regardless, Mo wanted to try her bike without training wheels.  It didn’t go well and she didn’t try hard.  Shortly thereafter, one of her close buds (a young lady one year older than she who is a dead ringer, in all aspects (save for the requisite ‘Marcie’) for Peppermint Patty.   She was on a two-wheeler as was her sister. 

We all rode around (Brody did three miles) and D also went quite some distance. 

At the end, Mo was again ready to try.  Within a couple attempts she rode a ¼ of the way around the track, and then did so several times.  All because Dayna wouldn’t stop encouraging and help her.

Now Mo walks around the house constantly reminding us that she can 'ride a two-wheeler!'

Great job Mo!  Great job Mom!

Hint for all you single ladies lookin’ to score a good family man…go to the movies and buy yourself a single ticket to Star Wars: Clone Wars.  Brody and I went opening night, the theater was packed and it was all Dad’s and their sons (except for the occasional fanboy duo; a pair of dumpy 30-something men who had dropped off their Moms at Jo-Ann Fabrics while they went to the movie).

Wyle much haz ben mayed ahboat my bad spelng, I apeer to have knot learnt my lessyon.  N a resent post eye speeled my wives name wrong, wright whan she wuz reeding  ‘Eets shootz an leeves’.  So I trooly apologize for my pour tiping skilz.

So I pick Brody up from a friends on the way home and with him, he brings a plastic cup.  He tells me that if he adds salt to the current concoction (which is made up of water, rocks and a leaf) that the next day there will be diamonds in there…and he’ll be richer than Mo’!  (Currently he calls Mo ‘rich’ because she has diamond earrings from G’gma…gotta love sibling rivalry).

So all during dinner he’s talking about it and is excited, for when he has diamonds, he can buy the Mac Daddy Lego Death Star…currently 399.99 at Lego.com.  His plan is wise in that Mom, Dad, and/or Santa AIN’T spending 4 Benjamin’s on something with Lego in the title!  His plan is ill fated as most of us know, diamonds will not magically appear tomorrow morning.

We discussed a backup plan.  Here are Brody’s suggestions and ideas, provided without any input from me:

-Ask Bill Gates for the money.

-Ask George Bush for the money (we might actually pull this off if we send a fake invoice from a non-existent company with a Texas return address, add some zero’s to the total and call it military contracting – Blackwater Death Star Personal Security or something like that).

-Ask someone in Hollywood

From there, he was out of ideas.  I suggested that he identify a service he could provide or a product he could make and sell on ebay or etsy.  He immediately started creating lego sculptures and pricing them quite aggressively.

I don’t want to squash his entrepreneurial fervor, but we’ll talk about raw materials, cost, pricing and distribution in the coming weeks.  In the interim, we’re going to plant a corn seed and then get a farm subsidy from congress.

Wish us luck and may the force be with you.

As a Michigan kid growing up, a summer visit to Cedar Point is an annual event, if not a requirement.  Once an adult (assuming you mature a little bit), that tends to taper off. 

Last year, and again this past weekend, we went to Soak City which is part of Cedar Point.  While we didn’t go into the amusement park, it’s the same lot and you can see most of the rides both on the way to Soak City and while you’re in there.  Playing with one's kids in the shadow of the Gemini, where many a fun time was had by myself 25 years ago (shit – 25 years!  Damn I’m old) it pretty neat and one can’t help but be somewhat nostalgic (and annoyed with the continued passage of time). 

Last year we were stuck in traffic four-eva on the final approach and didn’t want a repeat this year.  As such we left super early and arrived….super early.  After having a leisurely breakfast at the local Perkins, we made it to the gates 45 minutes before opening.

The kids ability (or rather, inability) to wait 45 minutes confirmed our decision NOT to go to the amusement park.  Brody however was excited beyond measure at the prospect of being the first in line, the first in the water park and the first down the water slide (all of which he was).

I fully expected Brody to do nothing but water slides as he was now tall enough.  However he really wanted to swim in the one pool they had.  Unfortunately he was 2 inches too short and was forced to wear a life jacket.  This really upset him and he cried for 30 minutes.  All attempts to console him were lost as he was in a loop – I don’t want the life jacket but I really want to swim here!  I asked why it bothered him so and it was because there was some kids a year or two older in the pool already and he didn’t want them to think he was a ‘baby’ (trying to point out that the crying didn’t help his machismo score didn’t help).

Finally I noted the wave pool was doing waves.  He ran over, and because he is such a good kid, asked to be measured.  HE WAS TALL ENOUGH!  They made some pretty big waves and Brody LOVED it.  He spent the whole day in there.

We figured Mo would prefer the little splash area, big wide open area only about 6 inches of water.  She did enjoy the small slide there and did make a friend but she too preferred the wave pool to anything else there.

We had a great time and as is always the case, Amusement Park attendees (and their wet cousins at the ‘water park’) always  remind me of why I don’t want to get a tattoo.

The other night I was giving Mo a bath and she insisted on washing her own hair.  She also felt the need to narrate as she did so. 

She is certainly her Mother’s daughter.  You could tell she really paid attention to how Dayna washed her hair as she massaged in the shampoo, especially in the back where she has a little quantity of hair.  She then explained the conditioner to me; stating that without it, her hair would be the ‘tangledessessest’ around.   She counted on how long to leave it in, stating that you had to leave it in for a little bit but not too long. 

It’s rather boring to describe (and read about) but it was really precious being there, watching and listening. 

I have mentioned before, and apparently will mention again, that Mo does not like to perform.  She beats to her own drum…one where she is the drummer.  She does not seek praise or validation from others and is too proud to do tricks for Scooby snacks. 

Drawing is one such area; ask her to draw a picture, she tells you she doesn’t want to, or can’t.  She laments her lack of artistic ability and, if forced, gives it a half-hearted attempt.  She will however do it with Pa Pa Bill who is a darn good artist.  Otherwise, if you want a good piece of original Mo Mo art, you have to get one that she created when the mood struck and no one was around. 

Following are a couple recent creations.  The one with myself on the front, also had the message on the back (I like how she dated it 2008); that one is a keeper! (click to enlarge)

I drew a simple picture of a kid Batman.  Brody looked at it and said that it needed more background detail like his pictures.  I put in a little, but it wasn’t enough to satiate his ravenous appetite for detail.  As such, I just started doodling all kinds of junk and following is the result.

Brody fell on the side walk the other day.  He cut up his leg and foot pretty bad…blood did ensue. 

We were at the table the other night, discussing their trip to a giant playplace with friends the following day, and I inquired if crawling around would be painful. 

Dayna looks to Brod and asks ‘Would the play place hurt your boo-boos?’

Brody immediately looks up and says ‘I’m not a kid.  I don’t have ‘boo-boos’, I have ‘WOUNDS!’

Guess we better ensure his vocabulary is at least polite as he probably also no longer ‘tinkles’ or makes a ‘Boom Boom’.